The “three good things” exercise is a simple tool you can use to practice gratitude and positivity. While the idea of “practicing” gratitude and positivity can seem a bit strange at first, an exercise like this can actually rewire your brain to seek out and amplify positive feelings and experiences.
The exercise was developed by Martin Seligman, a prominent psychologist who many consider to be “the father of Positive Psychology.” The field of Positive Psychology studies the characteristics and behaviors that allow people to flourish and live a meaningful life, and develops practices to help improve life satisfaction.
The “Three Good Things” exercise is a powerful positive psychology technique. From a biological perspective, our brains are hardwired to reflect, notice, and remember the negative as a survival mechanism and a way to avoid that which causes physical and emotional discomfort. This tendency to focus on the negative can feed depression and burnout. Taking time to reflect upon three good things that happened in the day and what led to them brings awareness to the positive heartfelt moments of the day and reminds us of our positive role.
Studies have shown that individuals are better able to recognise more good/positive things and feel increased happiness after only one week of using a gratitude journal. In fact, there is evidence that people who wrote down and shared what they were grateful for each night, for just one week, ended up being happier up to six months later. (1–4)
It is not that more good/positive things are happening, just that they could be recognised more often. Research has also demonstrated that participants who regularly used this technique for four weeks and longer have increased levels of happiness and decreased symptoms of depression when compared to a control group.(1,2,4)
Additional studies using this technique showed lower burnout, fewer depressive symptoms, greater happiness, improved work-life balance, fewer conflicts with colleagues, and improved sleep quality.
Why does it work?
Seeing the full spectrum of life
Life can be hard. Feelings like grief, anger, and anxiety play important roles in our lives and serve us best when they are acknowledged and addressed. Taking time to recognise and feel emotions such as gratitude, awe, love, hope, joy, and serenity can benefit us too. These experiences can give us a sense of purpose and meaning, recharge our energy, and improve our relationships.
Counteracting the "negativity bias"
We have a natural inclination to remember negative events, which is great for our survival, but not for our happiness. When we encounter a negative event our survival instincts kick in. For example, if you’ve managed to survive an encounter in a bear cave, you don’t want to forget that event. You’ve learned a powerful, negatively reinforced lesson: “Avoid bear caves.”
You might receive ten positive sentiments about your work, and one negative one. Guess which one you’ll most likely remember? The negative one. This is known as this as negativity bias. We tend to remember negative events and dismiss positive ones. This bias becomes even more prominent when we experience symptoms of burnout.
Practices like the “Three Good Things” counteract the negativity bias. This exercise primes us to look for the good parts of each day. If we know we have to record or tell someone about the positive experiences in our lives, we tend to take in and recognise things that we might otherwise miss.
How do I implent Three Good Things?
Anyone can start a Three Good Things intervention tonight. At the end of the day, before you go to bed, write down three good things that happened that day and reflect on why they happened. For maximum impact, repeat this daily exercise for 4 weeks. You may find it challenging at first to come up with three good things from your day, but the good news is that by day 4 or 5 remembering the good becomes easier. The brain begins to more effectively recognise and interpret the positive moments that we experience each day.
Here’s how to get started:
Make time: Set an intention to practice journaling for a few minutes every day for 4 weeks.
Grab a pen and paper or your phone: Write your observations in a journal or a notepad. There are also many free apps available for your phone, or you can use the notes app.
Write down “three good things”: Each night, write down three things that you are grateful for. It’s up to you how much detail you go into. You can simply write the three things or you can include what you noticed, how it made you feel, and why you think the event happened.
Anything counts: The events you choose can be large or small. Don’t worry about grammar or spelling—the goal is just to record what you’ve noticed. Sometimes the smaller the better, as when we start noticing the small things that we are grateful it indicates the exercise is working.
Reflect: After two to four weeks, take stock and see if you notice any positive effects of this practice on your life.
Tips for practicing Three Good Things
We don’t practice “Three Good Things” to dismiss or negate hard experiences through toxic positivity. We use it to acknowledge and care for our hard feelings, and to recognise the good that is present.
For maximum effect, try this exercise right before you go to bed. The thoughts we review in the hours before sleep stay in our memories longer. Some research reveals that recognising things we are grateful for helps us relax and sleep better. (2).
Feeling negative?That’s okay. If you end up focusing on negative things, acknowledge those experiences. Then, refocus your thoughts on the good memories. If you miss a day, it’s not a big deal—just start again tomorrow.
What if I get stuck?
Here is a list of fifty prompts to help if you get stuck. Remember, big or small, they all count! These won't all apply to you, everyone has different things to be grateful for.
Gratitude Journal Prompts
What privilege do you enjoy that others might not?
What aspects of your health do you feel grateful for?
What do you like most about yourself?
What do you love most about the time you are living in?
Express gratitude for having as much food as you need.
Appreciate the vehicles that let you travel short or long distances.
Express gratitude for the facility of ordering food at your doorstep and the people who deliver it.
Look around and list 5 things that help you in your day-to-day life.
How does having a mobile phone makes your life easier.
Express gratitude for 5 things that you use daily.
What piece of clothing or furniture are you grateful for?
What is one thing about the Internet that you are grateful for?
What is something that you can do today that people 30 years ago couldn't?
Think about the people you don't know who help make your life easier.
What’s one of your personality traits that you’re grateful for?
Express gratitude for 5 tools that help you save time.
What do I appreciate about myself?
Whose company do you like the most?
What excites you about the future?
Who is the most reliable person in your life
When did something great happen unexpectedly?
Appreciate a stranger who was helping someone in need.
Write about the most influential people in your life.
Write about an achievement that you are most proud of.
Write about something that makes you feel lucky.
Write about a recent improvement in your lifestyle.
What is the funniest video you've watched recently?
Write about a time when you challenged your comfort zone.
What is your favourite part/s about where you live?
What do you like about growing up?
Which is your favourite weather, and why?
What is the most fascinating thing about life?
What is one skill or quality about yourself that you appreciate the most?
What are you always excited to do?
What is your strongest life value?
Write about one positive thing that happened today.
What is your most prized possession?
What is your favourite part about nature?
Write about a song you love
What are your favourite things to eat?
Where do you feel most happy and relaxed?
Write about the person that you like the most. How do you feel about them?
Which tool do you use most frequently to get your tasks done? (mobile phone, pen, Internet, transport, utensils, etc.)
What happened in the last week that made you laugh out loud?
Pick a random photo, and write about why you’re grateful for that memory.
What are three things I’m grateful for, no matter how small?
What is something I am grateful to have learned?
What is a talent or skill that I’m grateful to possess?
What’s something or someone that makes you feel safe?
What public service or organisation are you grateful for (i.e. the library or Ambulance)
If you are struggling with burnout, anxiety or depressive symptoms, reach out to Carly from Thrive Counselling Solutions Adelaide in the contact form below.
References
1. Gander F, Proyer RT, Ruch W, Wyss T. Strength-Based Positive Interventions: Further Evidence for Their Potential in Enhancing Well-Being and Alleviating Depression. Journal of Happiness Studies. 2013;14(4):1241-1259.2. Mongrain M, Anselmo-Matthews T. Do positive psychology exercises work? A replication of Seligman et al. (2005). Journal of clinical psychology. 2012;68(4):382-389.3. Proyer RT, Gander F, Wellenzohn S, Ruch W. Positive psychology interventions in people aged 50–79 years: long-term effects of placebo-controlled online interventions on well-being and depression. Aging & Mental Health. 2014;18(8):997-1005.4. Seligman ME, Steen TA, Park N, Peterson C. Positive psychology progress: empirical validation of interventions. Am Psychol. 2005;60(5):410-421.
5. Boggiss AL, Consedine NS, Brenton-Peters JM, Hofman PL, Serlachius AS.. A systematic review of gratitude interventions: effects on physical health and health behaviors. J Psychosom Res. 2020; 135
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