Relationships are complex, and sometimes, one partner may hesitate or outright reject the idea of seeking professional help. This resistance can stem from various sources, including fear, skepticism, or simply feeling overwhelmed. However, addressing this resistance is crucial for fostering healthy communication, resolving conflicts, and strengthening the bond between partners. In this article, we'll explore why partner resistance occurs, its potential impact on relationships, and most importantly, practical strategies for overcoming it. Whether you're facing this obstacle yourself or seeking insights to support someone else, join us as we navigate through this journey of understanding and addressing partner resistance in the context of couples counselling in Adelaide.
Even if your partner won’t participate fully, you can still initiate positive changes through understanding and adjusting your own actions and communication style, via individual relationship counselling. At the same time, full engagement from both parties in couples therapy can lead to really powerful breakthroughs. Let’s take a look at some of the most common concerns about couples therapy and some ideas on how to approach this sensitive topic with your partner.
‘There’s nothing really wrong with our relationship’
If your partner doesn’t see any major problems and is broadly happy with things as they are, they may not see the point in having couples counselling – even if you do.
If your partner says everything’s fine, empathise first, but share your perspective on ways connection has declined. Remind them even healthy relationships take proactive work and that both parties need to be happy. Approach it as a team activity with joint responsibility. Couples counselling provides tools to communicate with more understanding, trust and intimacy. It’s an investment in your shared happiness.
‘I don’t want to hurt his/her feelings’
Do you feel unhappy in your relationship but worry suggesting counselling will upset your partner? It’s hard when important conversations are shut down and problems go unaddressed. However, the danger is that resentment and disconnect will gradually increase over time. Reassure your partner that counselling isn’t about blame – it’s simply about gaining skills to communicate in a healthier, more understanding way. It comes from a place of caring about the relationship.
‘I don’t want to provoke another argument’
It’s tempting to avoid hard conversations to keep the peace. However, suppressing issues will only increase resentment over time. If constant arguments or anger are tearing you apart, something needs to change. Gently suggest bringing in a counsellor to create a neutral space for healthy communication. With a compassionate mediator, you can both speak openly and feel truly heard. Reassure your partner that counselling isn’t about attacking each other, but fostering mutual understanding. With new communication tools, you’ll be better equipped to handle disagreements constructively.
‘They don’t believe in counselling’
It’s understandable for some to feel anxious or sceptical about counselling. Previous bad experiences or discomfort opening up can lead to resistance. Some believe relationships shouldn’t need “help” if they’re meant to be. Once you know why your partner is so against the idea, you can empathise with their concerns and provide them with information which demonstrates how positive experiences and outcomes can be gained from couples therapy.
It can be difficult to encourage a reluctant partner to come along to a couple’s therapy session, but here are some possible avenues you could pursue:
Ask what reservations they have about counselling – maybe it’s a past bad experience or fear it leads to divorce? Address concerns with empathy and remind them that counselling builds skills for compassionate communication and teamwork.
Ask about their preferences. Maybe they’d feel more comfortable speaking with a male or female counsellor. Would they prefer in-person or virtual sessions? Make it as convenient and comfortable as possible.
Ask if they would be willing to look at some counselling websites or read a book or blog post written by a Counsellor before booking. You could watch a YouTube video together on a relevant relationship topic.
Above all, it’s important to let your partner know how much it would mean to you if they agreed to do some of the actions mentioned above. Let them know how much happier and encouraged it would make you feel and, conversely, how sad you would feel if they chose not to engage.
What happens at your first appointment?
Understanding what to expect may help reduce any stress or anxiety over the initial appointment. At Thrive Counselling Solutions, your initial couples counselling session is intended to create a space for each partner to voice their relationship struggles and preferences. Carly helps couples identify goals and develop communication skills which provide foundations for growth. Rest assured, your story will be heard with complete confidentiality, sensitivity and without judgement. All relationships face challenges; Carly provides a safe space to work through them together.
It’s normal to feel apprehensive at first, but Carly can help you understand underlying issues, communicate constructively and rebuild trust. With compassionate guidance, you can gain new understanding and look to a positive path forward.
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